Last night I witnessed some children being mean to Jase. I sat back and watched how Jase would handle the situation. He didn't. He did not know they were being mean. Or did he? He laughed as they were telling him to go away and were moving away from him. The looks on the faces of these kids were the complete opposite of Jase, which was happy and laughing. Clearly, the kids did not want Jase around them. Clearly, Jase did not pick up on this or was just enjoying aggravating his friend. And clearly, I was getting mad.
Before I knew it, the friend came up to tattle on Jase. He tells me he and his other friends don't want Jase to sit by them and then tells me "Jase is freaking us out." Jase walks up and hears his friend say this and burst into tears. He just wanted to sit by his friend. The friend, satisfied with himself for what he's just done, walks away to join his other friends.
I had to make a choice at this moment. It had to be a mature choice, not the childish one I really wanted to do. The mean girl in me wanted to surface and say mean things to the child for being mean to my child. Clearly, this was the childish choice I fought off. The choice I made was to comfort my child and be honest with him. In my head I'd like to think this was the mature thing to do. From now on, I pray that Jase will remember what it feels like to have a friend be mean to him so that in the future he knows NOT to treat his friends like that. My honesty with Jase was that not everyone is going to be your friend but that doesn't give you the right to mean to that person. Then with that said, I thought to myself how do I teach my child kindness but yet not to take any crap??? Sigh.
My heart hurt last night, and still does as I type this. I wanted to burst into tears as I comforted my child. This was the first experience like this for us - Jase dealing with friends and me dealing with the hurt feelings of my child. I pray there aren't many more.
Before I knew it, the friend came up to tattle on Jase. He tells me he and his other friends don't want Jase to sit by them and then tells me "Jase is freaking us out." Jase walks up and hears his friend say this and burst into tears. He just wanted to sit by his friend. The friend, satisfied with himself for what he's just done, walks away to join his other friends.
I had to make a choice at this moment. It had to be a mature choice, not the childish one I really wanted to do. The mean girl in me wanted to surface and say mean things to the child for being mean to my child. Clearly, this was the childish choice I fought off. The choice I made was to comfort my child and be honest with him. In my head I'd like to think this was the mature thing to do. From now on, I pray that Jase will remember what it feels like to have a friend be mean to him so that in the future he knows NOT to treat his friends like that. My honesty with Jase was that not everyone is going to be your friend but that doesn't give you the right to mean to that person. Then with that said, I thought to myself how do I teach my child kindness but yet not to take any crap??? Sigh.
My heart hurt last night, and still does as I type this. I wanted to burst into tears as I comforted my child. This was the first experience like this for us - Jase dealing with friends and me dealing with the hurt feelings of my child. I pray there aren't many more.
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